“How Corona created a friendship and made earth a very small lovely place”

Text & Art: Ushiri

Two years ago I actually made a big painting for the first time in my life and it’s based on an idea to make erotic art with less sexualised characters. This one here is a mix of Donald Trump and the Swedish prime minister Stefan Löfven, also some parts Belgian blue (the anabolic steroid cow) and silicon tits.

The kitchen knifes in the background also add a nice feel to it. It was not actually my point that it should like the character in the painting has a knife in the butt, that detail was pure coincidence. This painting is now hanging at  ” Vegan bar ” in Malmö and the owner of the bar said each week many people admire it.

I was on a flight from Bulgaria to Sweden and I noticed that straight across from where I sat there was a weird young fellow with sunglasses a baseball cap and a big black oxygen  mask. He also wore silicone gloves. It all looked really strange. If you truly believe that these precautions will help you even if there is only one person in the cabin with the virus, then you have a more vivid imagination than me.  Anyhow there also was a quite cool looking guy that could been from the tv show the vikings with a similar look to Ragnar Lodbrok and with a giant Thors hammer. When we came to Vienna he saw an ID card on the floor and I said it might belong to the “gas mask dude”, so he gave it to him.

He said, very briefly, thank you. On the next flight me and the Viking were sitting on the same row and I said to him that it was so much fun when he gave it to the “gas mask dude”, and I said  ” He must got a serious nervous breakdown since you gave it to him with your bare hands.” He answered that he probably would try to use a flame thrower to clean it afterwards and we had a laugh.

We then talked about the Kukeri festival in Bulgaria and lots of things and about cultural differences between Sweden and Bulgaria. I  was told that Finnish people really don’t care much for smalltalk and that it takes time to learn to know someone there and for them even to say hi.

Then I remembered a story a friend from Japan told me. When she first came to Sweden she noticed that Swedish people love to talk about the weather she realised that it was smalltalk because we can’t stand the silence here.  He then told me about a friend from Japan that he met when he worked on the Silja line who was also a flight attendant and had had a son recently and was living in Vienna,  it turned out that it is the same person.  So it turned out that the Bulgarian and me, the   Swede shared a friendship with the same Japanese girl that lives in Vienna, The world is quite strange sometimes 🙂

Worst vacumcleaner memory

Text: Alexander Strinder & Art: Ushiri

This happened in the 80’s when we still had landline telephony. It was Sunday and I would, as usual, vacuum my apartment for it to be clean and nice during the week. I put on the vacuum cleaner and it started to hum. I’ve always wondered why a vacuum cleaner must sound like an airplane engine every time you clean. Therefore, initially I did not hear that the phone rang. I thought it had probably rung a couple of signals already, so I’d have to hurry to answer before they hung up on the other end. Admittedly, I had an answering machine, but I was curious by nature and wondered who it was, calling on a Sunday afternoon.

I turned the vacuum cleaner off, put away the vacuum cleaner nozzle and directed myself to go towards the phone. In my eagerness to catch up to the phone, I happened to trip over the vacuum cleaner and fell forward, while I managed to step on my big toe. It hurt immensely and I couldn’t stand on my foot. Now I understood that it is the big toe that allows the foot to keep the balance, and if you cannot support the big toe you have to walk on your heel.

I called the hospital and they told me that I’d probably broken my toe. Unfortunately, it is not possible to plaster the big toe, as it must heal itself while walking on the heel. I also couldn’t call in sick due to a broken big toe, so I had to hobble to my job in the video store. Sometimes I stumbled on the heel and ended up on the big toe, which hurt immensely. It felt like someone hit the toe with a hammer, with full force. Since that day, I have full respect for the vacuum cleaner and therefore still have an unbroken big toe. Who was calling me on that Sunday? I don’t remember.